Basketball Hoops and Societal Dissonance

After moving back to the United States four months ago, I noticed that as time passed, I began fixating on the basketball hoops I saw during my morning walks around my parents' suburban neighborhood. Initially, it was great just to be back with my parents, my brother, and my grandmother, and to introduce them to my life partner. Being back in my childhood home after two and a half years abroad was a unique experience.

However, after about four to six weeks, things started to bother me. These were familiar concerns that had troubled me before, but now they began really invading my existence. No matter where I went, I couldn't get away from them. These same issues had been present everywhere else I'd traveled, including South Korea where I'd spent the past two and a half years. But there, the novelty of my surroundings had allowed me to keep them at bay. I was focused on other things - spending time with new friends, having fresh experiences, wondering about what would come next.

Coming back to the States meant facing my future more directly. Finding a job and advancing my career after a three-and-a-half year break was one of our main reasons for returning, along with our first child being due around Christmas. I think this is what shifted my mindset, making it impossible to keep these thoughts walled off any longer. The fact that I was considering a career transition into AI governance - work aimed at addressing fundamental challenges to humanity's future - only intensified things. These thoughts became crippling.

I found myself unable to engage with even simple tasks when they felt unnecessary or devoid of meaning - meaning being work that tries to improve the lives of all beings. The friction I experienced with even important tasks was surprising in its intensity. I sat down to work on immigration forms for my spouse and found them so irritating that I could barely begin clicking through them, despite knowing how necessary they were for our family's future.

This was surprising to me because in the past, I had struggled with things that I found extremely mundane, boring, tedious. However, through meditation, I had been able to reframe or reset my mind when it came to these types of tasks. I remember being in Korea, sitting down to do my taxes, which I used to despise, and finding that if I just observed the process and emotions and remained curious about it, it wasn't that bad. Doing taxes and completing these immigration forms are extremely similar tasks: gather some information and click through some prompts. It only takes a few hours (at least with limited income streams). It's not that big of a deal.

But in this case, I identified that my frustration with handling these very similar immigration forms was due to my contempt with the requirement to complete them in the first place. Here was my spouse who had now given birth to our first child, an American citizen through me, and been legally married to me in Korea. But I had to for some reason, convince the United States government that she should be allowed to continue to reside in this country. She's the spouse and mother of American citizens. It seemed insane. Zooming out, the fact that we have countries at all with their borders was laid bare as an arbitrary, horribly frustrating artificial construct. This is just one of the many ridiculous realities we construct and then treat as sacrosanct.

I ended up being flooded with inputs pointing to the fact that so much of our society, so much of our existence, is made up of arbitrary bullshit. There is very little reasoning behind most of what we experience on a daily basis. This is a sad, terrifying, and frustrating fact but, unless I am totally missing something, it is a fact. I've heard a lot of people frame a narrative of our society as it being intentionally constructed. People talk about how "we've built the system." We've built a system that is unjust, that oppresses, that exploits nature in favor of a small subset of the human population. Yes, there have been times when those with greater power intentionally bettered their positions at the expense of others'. But this is largely a false narrative, because no one individual designed our society and no one individual would be able to. We allowed it to happen like this over the years, decades and centuries. We're all complicit in the creation of this ridiculous monstrosity, though the nature and degree of our complicity may vary. And when you wake up and you realize that every little thing that you look at was made by humans in this flawed system, you experience its insidious, caustic manifestations everywhere.

So when I went on this walk around my parents' neighborhood (an upper-middle class neighborhood consisting of near McMansions) to regulate my circadian rhythm and wake my body up, I was inundated by these little signs of a broken system, or at least a system that's not serving the vast majority of participants. I couldn't take a step without seeing it. But instead of enumerating every one of these signs*, I want to talk about basketball hoops.

As I go on my walk, which is maybe 1.5 km (3/4 miles)...

I

see

do

zens

of

ba

sket

ball

hoops

in

di

ffer

ent

drive

ways

all

a

round

this

neigh

bor

hood

d

.

So many things come to mind when I see these basketball hoops. Basketball was designed and continues to be played as a team sport. Granted, I arrived in October and it's now March, but I haven't seen a single one of these basketball hoops being used, even once. I see wasted resources destined to end in a landfill. I see a lack of cooperation. I see opportunities to engage with others meaningfully that are lost. I see individuals having control over an unreasonably large amount of the earth's resources, for them to feel that they had enough superfluous access to allocate those resources to an object for their own children when there were multiple of those objects already in their neighborhood. I see a lack of public spaces and the fact that the developer of this neighborhood had little financial incentive to create them, as a park brings in no direct revenue whereas another few houses do. In turn, I see the death of community and connection with other humans, which the wisest among us and those on their deathbeds state to be one of the few truly meaningful things that we can experience in our lives, not to mention the positive effect it has on our mental health, in a time when we're finally able to document how many people are being confronted with mental health challenges.

When I really take time to think about these basketball hoops, it brings me to tears because I think about what could be, what isn't. These basketball hoops, and any of the other issues in this neighborhood, stand for me as a symbol of what is wrong with our society. I don't blame any one individual, a mistake I made to my and others' detriment in the past. But that's a fool's errand, because you know what, there was a basketball hoop in my parents' driveway too. I know my parents are extremely well-intentioned people as I've come to believe through my life experience almost all people are. Almost no one wants to be a bad guy. Almost everyone gets joy from meaningful connection and serving others. I'm so motivated and inspired by these facts because I know that if we are able to restructure our society, we can take advantage of these wonderful qualities that all humans possess and redirect the effort of us all for us all.

I don't understand how people can go about living their daily lives having this insanity staring them in the face**. For many years, I was a frustrated, angry individual, and a lot of it stemmed from this frustration that I didn't understand and wasn't able to articulate. Ignorant, I tried working some 9-to-5 jobs because I thought they would be fun or interesting or set me up for a good career or lead to further fulfilling experiences. But I knew consciously that there was something wrong. There was something in my psyche bothering me, and granted, there were and continue to be many causes at the root of my own mental health challenges, but as I moved to different continents and had different experiences, I knew that there was mental unrest that would follow me wherever I went. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run from this problem. So I put it off and I put it off, and finally I let myself feel it, taking time to stare this problem in the face. When you do that, it cripples you. The problems that plague our society permeate every aspect. People make fundamental assumptions about how the world is and how the world must be. They don't question them. They take the insanity as an unalienable part of our lives, "That's just the way things are."

But the way things are is not how they were nor how they'll be. It is entirely true that change is the only certainty in life and awareness of its pressing necessity has unfortunately resulted in the global rise in populism.*** However, we've also made incredibly positive changes. The world is much better than it was in the past by almost all metrics we use to try to measure it, and even when we ignore the metrics and just take some time to think through our history. It doesn't seem like this to many, including myself at times, because the problems that we're facing are still so large, and the gap between where we are now and where we should be is massive. Despite the progress we've made, we have a long, long way to go. Until we figure out a way to ensure true equality between all humans, until we achieve lasting peace, until all non-humans are treated with love and respect, until we find a way to live perpetually in harmony with the natural world (aka, our home), we have work to do.

This may sound disheartening at first: "Wow, we've only taken a baby step down the path that we need to." But it also offers great opportunity. When we look at the present situation and see all the problems, we can reframe the whole thing. Instead of dwelling on doom and gloom, we can say: "All right, not bad so far. But we can do so much better." Our potential, I truly believe, is limitless. The amount that we have achieved, the amount that we've already improved ourselves, is astounding. The rate at which progress has occurred is unprecedented in the history of our solar system, at the very least. And this progress occurred without us even having the goal of improving people's lives. Could you imagine if we organized properly, if we as a species worked towards this goal daily? Could you imagine if this, what we're living every day, is 1% of progress? Could you imagine what 10% looks like? Could you imagine what 20% looks like? 50%? 80%? 100%?

I believe that a paradise awaits us here on earth. I believe that our descendants will be able to reap the full benefits of the good fortune granted to us in our beings and world. We are amazing creatures capable of so much. I state the obvious when I say that what lies ahead is a long, arduous path. We will have setbacks. We will have to retrace our steps. That is most certainly true. However, I have faith in the human spirit, which has shown to be inexplicably resilient in the face of enduring hardship. And I'm overjoyed by the progress that we've made. We so far have an inspiring story, but it's just the beginning.

For us, existing at a point in our species' lifespan with amazing technology offering so much opportunity and standing on the shoulders of those ordinary, persevering humans that came before... what a time to be alive! We have been raised to a height from which we can make leaps and bounds into a great future that will be achieved by us all working together, taking one baby step after another.

*Lawns and the petrochemicals that are dumped on them in fertilizer and pesticides, and all the people that spend time grooming them for no purpose other than to achieve a very particular aesthetic that has its roots in European aristocracy flaunting wealth hundreds of years ago. The fact that there was a forest here that was largely clear-cut to make way for these homes. Huge plot sizes. The unnecessary large size of the homes. Shoddy build quality. Petroleum-product roofs that have to be replaced every couple decades. Petroleum-based roads that have permanently destroyed the soil and have to be resurfaced every couple decades. The layout of the development that requires cars to be used to enter and leave it. Neighbors that pass each other by, sometimes smiling, and not knowing each other's names. The fact that people of different socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds are further removed from each other. To name a few.

**When I had an existential crisis six years ago, I felt quite alone in being distraught that there seemed to be no fundamental reasons why we exist and therefore how we should spend our lives isn't prescribed in any way. I was surprised how few people had thought deeply this topic, to really square with it, and instead decide to just plow on unquestioningly through life.

***Thanks to my friend Levav for prompting me to add this additional context.

****Create a realistic view of an almost entirely natural landscape with extremely minimal human presence, viewed from a 45-degree elevated angle. Buildings should occupy only 5% of the visible area, with vast expanses of untouched nature between each structure.

Show a sweeping natural landscape dominated by forests, meadows, streams, and natural features, with just a few scattered structures that blend seamlessly with their surroundings. The scene should be approximately:

• 80% pure untouched nature (forests, streams, meadows)
• 15% integrated food systems (visible garden plots, food forests, multiple vertical farms)
• 5% actual buildings widely dispersed across the landscape

Include only 4-5 visible structures total, each separated by substantial natural areas:

• A residential structure with organic, flowing lines inspired by natural forms like shells or flowers
• A small community building that appears to emerge from a hillside with a living roof
• A workshop with a design inspired by tree canopies and natural structures
• 2-3 transparent vertical farm structures with biomimetic structural elements

Architecture should feature curves and forms directly inspired by plants, trees, shells, and geological formations. Buildings should be partially concealed by vegetation, appearing as natural extensions of the landscape.

Include several clearly visible agricultural elements:

• 3-4 small terraced garden plots integrated with the natural slopes
• A food forest that transitions gradually into wild forest
• Several small clearings with diverse crop plantings
• Water systems that serve both agricultural and ecological functions

Pathways should be minimal and narrow, winding naturally through the landscape. The overwhelming impression should be of pristine nature with subtle, integrated human elements that enhance rather than dominate the ecosystem.